Chicago Mama Spot

A Benefactor Blogger and Conan O'Brien

Oh Mama Spot, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you.  It's just that I've been so disorganized busy the past few days that by the time I start to think about posting and reading blogs, I look at the clock and it's too late.

Internet, you suck me in and waste my time. 

I've talked about this before, but many people with ADD have this problem with hyper focusing.  When I find something I'm interested in, I can become absorbed for days on end.  Usually, that means everything else slides. 

Can you imagine me pregnant?  Yes, I knew just about every product out there.

Can you imagine me going through infertility treatments?  Thankfully, at the time I didn't have a real job or I might have been fired.

When Sweet Pea's little head became a little flat (well, pretty flat), I don't think I left an internet stone unturned.  Luckily, I listened to my pediatrician and just left it alone.  Her head is just fine now.

You get the picture, I'm a bit of a pit bull when I get on to something. 

Since Sweet Pea is not one to be ignored, I tend to do most of my obsessing time-wasting hyperfocusing during naptime and the wee hours of the day. 

So, what's been keeping me so occupied that I've ignored my mama spot? 

Early Monday morning, I had a little insomnia.  I hadn't really had a chance to catch up on reading blogs, so I went through my bloglines and caught up.  As usual, I kept finding interesting links to other blogs in the ones I was reading.  I linked here somehow even though I wasn't subscribed.  I'm a sucker for the newborns, so I was reading all about this adorable little guy making his entrance a little sooner than expected.  YanowhatImean is a Chicago mama too and I always enjoy the Chicago stories.

Then, I got to this post.  Daddy-O loves Conan.  Many a night, I'm trying to sleep through him cracking up at some Conan skit.  I knew Conan was coming to Chicago, but never really thought about getting tickets.  Even though it was 4:30 am, I almost woke Daddy-O up to ask if he would give up his first softball game of the year to see Conan.  Lucky for him I realized he never remembers the discussions we have when I wake him up from a dead sleep.  So, I commented on the post and told Yano that I thought I'd want the tickets, but had to wait to make sure.  Daddy-O was so excited, but we were pretty sure that some blogger who'd never met me had probably already found someone.  We had to wait for the email back to find out whether or not someone else had beaten us to the tickets.

We were in.  A few hours later, we got the confirmation email that NBC had sent Yano for Thursday's taping. 

How awesome is that.  Not the Conan part, even though that sounds fun.  Someone who's never met me, did such a nice thing for me. 

It so nice that blogging got me such a great perk.  As a SAHM, it doesn't feel the same buying Daddy-O gifts or tickets to a big game.  Since technically, he's the one bringing in the money, it just isn't the same.  So, it's fun for me to be able to surprise him with something he couldn't get on his own.  When I asked him if he'd give up his game for Conan, he looked at me with just a little pity and said "those tickets are impossible to get."  Not if you know the right blogger.

So, I have spent a good portion of the last few days trying to find out how early we need to get there.  Having a confirmation doesn't guarantee tickets because they distribute more confirmations than there are available seats.  I guess to plan for no-shows.  It's been pretty hard to find the information.  There are the die-hard fans out there who say you have to be there at the crack of dawn and then, there is the official information that says that you have to be there by 3:15 pm, but that many times people line up much earlier. 

I have been on myspace and livejournal a lot the past few days.  I've heard many virtual shrieks from people who made it into the front row or touched Conan's hand.  I'm still not sure when we need to be there.  John C Reilly is the guest and is probably not the star of the week.  So, that may affect the line.  Also, the weather is looking very nasty.  Rainy all day, with temperatures in the low 50s (real-feel in the 40s).  All the waiting is outside.

I've also spent a lot of time trying to figure out babysitting for us.  The person who normally does it for us during the day can't do it and Daddy-O's dad can only do it until around 4:00 pm.  Tomorrow, I'll be begging my sister.  It sounds like the taping is usually over by 6:30 or so at the latest, so won't have to worry about putting her to sleep or anything.  The cousins always have a great time together, so hopefully that will be our solution.

Once again, the night is speeding by, so I'll have to post about my other time-consuming, time-wasters later.

Again, many, many thanks to Yano for being so generous.  I will post all the details as soon as I can.

Look for me on Conan tonight.

Moving day is around the corner . . .

Daddy-O and I are on different planets.  That's just all there is to it.  I try to figure it out, but I can't.  We're just not cut from the same cloth.  Maybe it's the man/woman thing, I don't know. 

I am so emotional about moving from this house.  To me, we've spent our whole married lives here and our whole lives as parents.  We picked out everything down to the outlet covers. 

To Daddy-O, nothing. 

Me:  Will you miss it? 

Daddy-O:  Not really. 

Not only do I not get him, he doesn't get me. 

Lucky for us we love each other. 

In other news, my brackets do not look good.  My teams are losing by a hair.  Tomorrow is my day.  Go Arizona!  (I'm not holding out much hope.)

What's a Mama to do when Daddy-O takes charge. . .

I've been following Rebel Dad's many posts about the mommy wars.  I don't know any SAHDs, but I've really enjoyed reading his perspective.  One of the things that seems to irk Rebel Dad is that many of the authors and news media discussing this "war," either fail to mention dads or act like dads are helpless and bumbling. 

It bugs me too.  Most of my friends are married and we all have funny and/or scary stories about things our husbands have done - parenting, grocery shopping, electronics, laundry - great fodder for girls' night.  But, let me tell you, if I were to suddenly be thrust into Daddy-O's place of work without much information and no hands on experience, I can't imagine the stories they'd tell.  It's tough to step into someone else's role.  You don't know the flow, the set-up, you haven't made the mistakes that lead you to know (kind of) what you're doing.  It's like that in any job and really, in most tasks.  When I visit my mom and she sends me to the grocery store to do her shopping, her list seems cryptic and generic and I spend way too long trying to get exactly what she wants.  It's not that I don't know how to grocery shop, I just haven't done her shopping before.

Okay, enough belaboring of that point.  On to why I really started talking about all this . . .

I am the envy of all my mom friends.  Why?  Sleep. Sleep. CNN. Long Showers.

My fabulous Daddy-O gets up most mornings with Sweet Pea.  He gets her up, changes her diaper, plays with her and then feeds her.  What am I doing?  What else?  Sleeping, taking a long shower  and blow drying my hair without a toddler appendage hooked on to my leg, or relaxing in bed watching CNN or lately, CNBC.  When he has to go to work, they both come giggling upstairs to get me.  It is heaven - for me and I think, for him.  The other night, he actually told me that he had to go to bed early so he could get up early with her. 

Now, I am married to more of the guy's guy type.  I am not kidding when I say that Daddy-O could count the number of diapers he changed the first year on ONE hand. 

No more.  The amount of enjoyment and fun he has with Sweet Pea is directly correlated to all the time he has spent ALONE with her.  It's a different ballgame when you have to make decisions, organize the schedule, and take care of things without anyone hovering over you telling you how she does it.  Yesterday, I was enjoying my new morning ritual and Daddy-O's cell phone started ringing.  He left it on his nightstand.  What to do?  I wanted to stay in bed, but he needed to get his phone.  Once Sweet Pea sees me, it's tough going back to bed.  So, I snuck down to the basement and this was what I saw:  toys scattered, Sweet Pea's onsie haging out of her PJs, Dora blasting from the TV and Sweet Pea and Daddy-O putting on his little practice putting green.  They were both giggling so hard that they didn't hear me come down.  I whispered to Daddy-O and made the handoff without Sweet Pea even seeing me.  I was kind of sad to go back upstairs and leave all the fun.

Daddy-O isn't a SAHD, but now he's had practice taking care of a toddler.  He's made some mistakes and he doesn't always do things the way I would.  But, he's good at being a dad.  And, being a good dad has made him an even better husband.  Sweet Pea is just as likely to go to him now when she needs something as she is to come to me.

Yesterday, Sweet Pea became obsessed with plums.  She must have eaten two whole plums and I mean every last little bit off of the pit.  You know what plums do to the old digestive tract?  Sweet Pea  - blowout - you get the picture.  I'm thrilled to say that Daddy-O changed that diaper this morning without even considering coming to get me to do the dirty work. 

My new favorite thing to do in the morning:  Using the monitor to eavesdrop on Daddy-O getting Sweet Pea up.   

Deleted Post

I have deleted the original post that I made on this date (3/9/06) about a "having just one child" discussion with Daddy-O.  He felt hurt that I posted about it and I want more than anything to respect that.  If it hurts him, it isn't worth it to me.  One thing I want to say - he is a great husband and an awesome father and my best friend.  It's much more important to me that he feels like we're in this together, than that I post to my blog about it.  It felt good to get all my emotions out into words, but maybe that was catharsis enough. 

Am I a Housewife? Not a very good one.

This is probably a regional, city thing, but only two women in my bookclub don't have regular cleaning ladies.  How did our moms do it?  Mine wasn't super great at it, but she never would have considered having someone come clean.  I've read that the size of the average house has grown by a lot and it has to be related.  We live in a pretty average sized house with a finished basement and our cleaning lady moved back to Poland right before Christmas.  She'd found us a replacement, but it just didn't work out.  I haven't had anyone "officially" clean my house since Christmas except for one deep clean before we put our house on the market.  It's so scary that poor G is walking around with as much dog hair on her as the dog.  I just can't get it all done.  By the time I clean one area, the rest is dirty.  I am telling you, it is really making me resent my dog.  I tend to project all my flaws on to her since G was born.  She still doesn't get how she went from being my baby to G getting all the attention.

Why is it that women who came before me felt like it was their job to keep the house clean and I kind of feel like it's not mine?  I mean, J would say that I'm so busy with G that I don't have time.  But that's really not the case.  I mean she takes a 3 hour nap every day.  I feel like I don't have a lot of time for myself, but I can't imagine what kind of time my mom had for herself.   Am I just a slacker? 

If I had to do this all the time, I would definitely want a smaller house!  Maybe just one room.

Edited:  I think J was reading over my shoulder and didn't appreciate the title.  He seems to have hit his breaking point and it makes him want to be married to someone else.  He's definitely got anal retentive qualities and hates a mess (why he married someone with ADD is beyond me, I mean he did know, I was diagnosed before I met him.  Plus, my stacks and piles are really not "hideable.").   I actually am pretty good at keeping things picked up, not so easy with an 18 month old, but the layer of dust and the general lack of deep cleaning is making him crazy.  I guess I'll have to get to work tomorrow.  When J gets this way, he always comes up with a big list of all the things I need to do.  I think it makes him feel better, but it is always inconvenient and usually on Sunday night.  His dad watches G from 11 - 3 on Mondays, so I can't get anything done - the time I'm home is pretty much crazy, the rest of the day I'm running errands.  Plus, my mom is visiting tomorrow which means a fun trip to Fields.  I guess I'll just have to live with the wrath of J for whatever I don't get done.  It sucks trying to be responsible!  Actually, the guilt of not being responsible is what really sucks.