Chicago Mama Spot

New blog, new word for G

I've been working on another blog.  I love the news, so I put together a new blog to talk about it.  You can check it out if you're interested at News Junkie.

It's so late.  I still have some tweaking left, but I'll have to get to that tomorrow>  I just wanted to get it out there so I could talk about Meet the Press last week.

My big G news is that she is cussing now.  I wonder where she got that?  The sad thing is I am really not a cusser.  I really only do it when I'm stressed - like this morning.  So, I said the F-word and 2 seconds later she was repeating it - over and over and over. 

I have nothing against cussing.  My mom and my sister sound like sailors.  I just don't really do it and I'd prefer that G wait until she's at least in her late teens to start (wishful thinking).

Oh well, better start watching my mouth!

Discovering G

One of my favorite parts of being a mom is figuring out who G is.  When it's just the two of us or the three of us, I only get to see one little part of her.  It is so - (I can't even find the right adjective) interesting, amazing, wonderful, mind boggling - to see who she is when she is in other situations.  She is becoming the person, she'll be.  Years from now, I will be able to look back and remember the beginnings of her.  Sometimes when I look at her at times like this, I feel like my heart is going to explode with all the feelings I have for her.  It's just amazing that a year and a half ago, I hardly knew her.  She was just a little bump.  Who knew? 

We went to a class today at Bubbles Academy, kind of a bigger, badder Gymboree.  It's a great place started by parents and you can tell.  You can do as many make-ups as you need to and if you take a class in the next session, your make-ups roll over.  Also, you can do a make-up in any age appropriate class.  It's a little expensive, but fun.   Their main room is huge and mural-y with lots of hanging butterflies and stars.  They have some great pictures on their site. 

We went with my mom, my sister and my 3 year-old niece.  The class is a family class, so it's all ages - mainly 1 - 5.  G usually starts up a little slowly and always does her own thing, but watching her take in the world . . . True love.  I love being her mama.

Bad Mama, Part II

Do you think it is a bad thing to write about being a mom, but to spend more time writing about it than doing it?  This blogging thing is really consuming me - there are so many great mama blogs out there.  I can't stop.  Someone help me, my daughter is becoming addicted to tv . . .

Okay, must stop!  She has to eat sometime soon. 

Note to self - do this stuff only when she naps or sleeps.  It's too bad I have a husband to worry about too.  Ah, the joys of being ADD.  It's great when it's only you and you're trying to kill some time.  It's not so great when you have other people who need your attention. 

Starting . . .

Starting is the hard part right?  No, actually probably not for me.  It's continuing that always gets me.  I'm a great starter.  Always have been.  I can start a sport or a book or a hobby and right away I jump out in front of a lot of other beginners.  Sadly, it doesn't last long.  My husband, G., once looked at me and said "for taking 20 years of tennis lessons, you're really not that good."  Kind of me in a nutshell.  I loved the going to buy books and notebooks part of college.  I love the researching paint colors part of painting.  The actually doing is never as much fun.  It's a wonder I ever got through to the writing part of this blog.  In keeping with my personality, it was much more likely that I'd spend my time refining the look. 

This part of my personality makes this mom thing kind of scary.  There is no putting it away in a closet and wishing you hadn't spent every dime of your paycheck buying interesting yarn for your novice knitting project.  This is forever.  Even if one of us goes, we'll always be mom and daughter. 

I'm a fairly new mom - my adorable daughter is almost 18 months.  I stay at home with her, but work on various things for my husband.  Actually, a lot of the time, I'm his internet slave.  "Can you research this or find this for me?"  That's fine, but sometimes I'm in the middle of something - like trying to figure out why there have been almost no pictures of Jennifer Garner since she had the baby.  Important stuff and he thinks I can just creak by my sleeping baby to get him important information!  If I wake her, fun time for mommy is over!  Call the 800 number to find a DHL drop-off for god's sake, I'm busy!  Of course, I just say that silently or now I write it here and hope he never gets technologically advanced enough to find this spot.

I like staying at home with my daughter.  It turns out I wasn't that good at working.  I had a great job.  I made alot of money (at least I thought so).  The problem is that once the internet became accessible to me, I just couldn't get anything done.  If you know much about A.D.D., you may have heard the term hyperfocus.  I can do that and then some.  Once I get on to something, I'm like a pit bull.  Some mornings, I wake up and think, why did I spend until 2 in the morning looking at wooden cutouts of flowers and birds to decorate the playroom?  Up until the internet came along, I was pretty responsible - sure I veered off, but how much was there to do in an office.  I had to work. 

So, here I am.  The 38 year old mother of an 18 month old daughter.  All the relationships in my life are sort of viewed through that prism - a ama (advanced maternal age), ADD, Chicago mom of what will most likely be an only child.   It's not that others see me that way.  It's just sort of how I look at life.  It's definitely not the life I thought I'd have, but more on that in future postings. 

For now, I just have to be happy I've started writing . . .