Chicago Mama Spot

School Woes & the Catholic Church

Like a lot of bigger cities, getting into preschool is kind of a competitive sport.  I thought I'd found a decent option - I really like the Montessori approach, especially for younger kids.  Most of the Montessori schools here have long wait lists.  At the school I really love, we are currently 16th on the girl waitlist for the parent/toddler program.  Getting into the parent/toddler program at many schools guarantees you a spot in preschool.  Obviously, we're not getting in this year.

I ran across another Montessori school in my research that goes through 3rd grade.  The only catch is that the school is Catholic.  I'd sort of decided it was no big deal since Daddy-O was raised Catholic (kind of).  His mom is Catholic.  Even though I'm sometimes skeptical of organized religion, I figured if the school was good and the teachers cared about Sweet Pea, it wouldn't be that different from any other school.

Then, I heard about this teacher.  That made me do a little research.  That scared me.

Since I'm not Catholic, I hadn't really thought about the church's position on IVF.  Since I believe I'm a good mother and a good person, I hadn't really thought about how the Catholic school system might feel about my child.  My child, the love of my life.  My child, the life I wanted to bring into this world more than anything.  My child, a person, not a personification of evil. 

I read how the church feels about IVF:

In summary, the Catholic Church condemns as gravely evil acts, both IVF in and of itself, and stem cell research performed on IVF embryos.

Sweet Pea won't be going to Catholic school.  Daddy-O sort of rolled his eyes when I told him about this.  I think he feels, like many Catholics friends of ours probably do, that what the Vatican says isn't necessarily the feeling that we'd get from the parents and faculty of a particular Catholic school.  We have a lot of Catholic friends who I know don't think we're evil or that Sweet Pea is evil.

I don't care.  Like most parents, I have no interest in putting my daughter into a situation where she feels inferior. 

The Catholic church says that she was born of an evil act.  That's a strong enough statement that I just can't get over it.

We didn't destroy any embryos.  We didn't have a lot of other options.  We had a beautiful daughter who we love with everything we have.  We are good parents trying to raise a good person.  Isn't that the important part?

It is so hard for me to understand the hate that goes into a statement like the one from the Church. 

I imagine someday I'll tell Sweet Pea how she was conceived. Hopefully, by then people will be more accepting and less judgmental.

Falling Leif or Why Sweet Pea Isn't Going Into Show Biz

Conan was great - very interesting day.  I will post details later.  There's just too much to say about the whole thing.

I wasn't planning on posting at all tonight, but I just ran across this little item about one of my childhood crushes.  Women of a certain age will definitely recognize this magazine and there's young Leif hugging an adorable stuffed animal.  I think that's Shawn Cassidy next to him.

Things apparently haven't been going so well for Leif.  Repeat drug charges and it looks like some years using them have really taken a toll.  He's looking a little worse for the wear. 

It actually is sad how many child stars end up unable to handle being adults.  As gorgeous and talented and brillant as Sweet Pea is, I think we'll just have her live a normal life until she gets old enough to handle fame and fortune.

A Benefactor Blogger and Conan O'Brien

Oh Mama Spot, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you.  It's just that I've been so disorganized busy the past few days that by the time I start to think about posting and reading blogs, I look at the clock and it's too late.

Internet, you suck me in and waste my time. 

I've talked about this before, but many people with ADD have this problem with hyper focusing.  When I find something I'm interested in, I can become absorbed for days on end.  Usually, that means everything else slides. 

Can you imagine me pregnant?  Yes, I knew just about every product out there.

Can you imagine me going through infertility treatments?  Thankfully, at the time I didn't have a real job or I might have been fired.

When Sweet Pea's little head became a little flat (well, pretty flat), I don't think I left an internet stone unturned.  Luckily, I listened to my pediatrician and just left it alone.  Her head is just fine now.

You get the picture, I'm a bit of a pit bull when I get on to something. 

Since Sweet Pea is not one to be ignored, I tend to do most of my obsessing time-wasting hyperfocusing during naptime and the wee hours of the day. 

So, what's been keeping me so occupied that I've ignored my mama spot? 

Early Monday morning, I had a little insomnia.  I hadn't really had a chance to catch up on reading blogs, so I went through my bloglines and caught up.  As usual, I kept finding interesting links to other blogs in the ones I was reading.  I linked here somehow even though I wasn't subscribed.  I'm a sucker for the newborns, so I was reading all about this adorable little guy making his entrance a little sooner than expected.  YanowhatImean is a Chicago mama too and I always enjoy the Chicago stories.

Then, I got to this post.  Daddy-O loves Conan.  Many a night, I'm trying to sleep through him cracking up at some Conan skit.  I knew Conan was coming to Chicago, but never really thought about getting tickets.  Even though it was 4:30 am, I almost woke Daddy-O up to ask if he would give up his first softball game of the year to see Conan.  Lucky for him I realized he never remembers the discussions we have when I wake him up from a dead sleep.  So, I commented on the post and told Yano that I thought I'd want the tickets, but had to wait to make sure.  Daddy-O was so excited, but we were pretty sure that some blogger who'd never met me had probably already found someone.  We had to wait for the email back to find out whether or not someone else had beaten us to the tickets.

We were in.  A few hours later, we got the confirmation email that NBC had sent Yano for Thursday's taping. 

How awesome is that.  Not the Conan part, even though that sounds fun.  Someone who's never met me, did such a nice thing for me. 

It so nice that blogging got me such a great perk.  As a SAHM, it doesn't feel the same buying Daddy-O gifts or tickets to a big game.  Since technically, he's the one bringing in the money, it just isn't the same.  So, it's fun for me to be able to surprise him with something he couldn't get on his own.  When I asked him if he'd give up his game for Conan, he looked at me with just a little pity and said "those tickets are impossible to get."  Not if you know the right blogger.

So, I have spent a good portion of the last few days trying to find out how early we need to get there.  Having a confirmation doesn't guarantee tickets because they distribute more confirmations than there are available seats.  I guess to plan for no-shows.  It's been pretty hard to find the information.  There are the die-hard fans out there who say you have to be there at the crack of dawn and then, there is the official information that says that you have to be there by 3:15 pm, but that many times people line up much earlier. 

I have been on myspace and livejournal a lot the past few days.  I've heard many virtual shrieks from people who made it into the front row or touched Conan's hand.  I'm still not sure when we need to be there.  John C Reilly is the guest and is probably not the star of the week.  So, that may affect the line.  Also, the weather is looking very nasty.  Rainy all day, with temperatures in the low 50s (real-feel in the 40s).  All the waiting is outside.

I've also spent a lot of time trying to figure out babysitting for us.  The person who normally does it for us during the day can't do it and Daddy-O's dad can only do it until around 4:00 pm.  Tomorrow, I'll be begging my sister.  It sounds like the taping is usually over by 6:30 or so at the latest, so won't have to worry about putting her to sleep or anything.  The cousins always have a great time together, so hopefully that will be our solution.

Once again, the night is speeding by, so I'll have to post about my other time-consuming, time-wasters later.

Again, many, many thanks to Yano for being so generous.  I will post all the details as soon as I can.

Look for me on Conan tonight.

Dads

My sister's husband's (so, my brother-in-law) father died last week.  Friday was the funeral and since he's Jewish, a Shiva followed and continued Saturday and Sunday.  His father had pancreatic cancer and actually lived fairly comfortably much longer than anyone expected.  He was diagnosed almost two years ago.  It's a happy/sad when it happens like that - he did well for so long that it seemed like he could keep beating it, but at least everyone had time to say and do everything they wanted.

I haven't been to many funerals or burials.  It was very sad, but also parts were just so strange - well mainly the burial.  It took place in a huge cemetary just outside of Chicago.  Throughout the burial service, a group of men in work clothes stood in the background because they were the ones that had to lower him into the ground.  The contraption that they used to lower him looked like something out of a scary, science fiction movie.  It was just such a strange juxtaposition.  On the one side, there were the mourners going through something very personal and intimate.  On the other, was cold, steel machinery and cemetary workers who saw it as just another part of the job. 

It was a very nice service.  Funerals, weddings, baby showers, they all make me reflect on my life. It's funny because it's only recently that I realized that it would be harder for me to lose Daddy-O than anyone else (besides Sweet Pea - she's not even in the same ballpark).  I am so close to my mom and sister that they've always kind of trumped everyone else.

The sad thing is that even though my dad was there on Friday, I never really thought about losing him. You'd think I would since it was my brother-in-law's dad, but it was only after it was over that I realized I hadn't thought about him.

I'm not very close with my dad.  I think he would say we are which makes me sad.  My parents were separated when we were pretty young.  I was in second grade.  My dad met my step-mother when my sister was just a year old.  So let's just say, he wasn't super involved with us.  He tries now, but he's a pretty selfish person and doesn't really treat us like adults.  He expects every one to drop everything the second he decides to visit.  For some reason, I just don't feel like I want to expend a ton of energy trying to make things great. It's not that we don't get along, there just isn't a lot of closeness. 

It seems like a lot of children of divorce that I know only stay close to one parent.  My parents stayed friends after the divorce. They still have a group of friends in common, so they even see each other socially sometimes.  I talk to my mom all the time and she knows most of my problems.  I can't even imagine talking to my dad about anything other than surface stuff - kids, weather, what's going on in my hometown. 

I hope I don't regret not working hard on our relationship. I just don't know that it would make much of a difference and as sad as that makes me, I need to spend time in my life on my most important relationships.

The only thing that gives me pause is thinking that I might be setting a bad example for Sweet Pea.  I want her to be able to tell Daddy-O anything and to feel as close to him as she does to me. 

Girls Night Out and Belly Holes

It must seem like all I ever do is go out because it seems I have a lot of posts about drinking champagne.  I really don't go out very much, I swear!

But, I did have a great meal out at a top Chicago restaurant, X/O

I admit to having a delicious pomegranite margarita - really only to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.  I also did have a flight, plus one of champagne.  Very enjoyable evening with a few women I don't know that well and one I know and love.  Unfortunately, sometimes with two pregnant women, the slight slurring becomes a little more noticeable than it would if everyone had a few cocktails.  I had so few that I will even be fine tomorrow morning, but you know when you're around completely sober, pregnant people, you can feel a little self-concious.

Here's what I have for tonight's post:

Sweet Pea calls her belly button her "Belly Hole."  I'm not sure where she learned this, but she says it a lot while trying to peer over her big baby belly to see it.  It's one of the first things she's said where I just have no idea where she got it. 

I Heart Sweet Pea

A few weeks ago, a friend had the bookclub ladies over for Friday Happy Hour.  Knowing the crowd, I took a cab to her house even though it's pretty close.  I knew I might have one champagne flute too many.  I'd been out all day for Cubs Opening Day, so I already had a little head start.  Luckily for me, there are lots of pregnant woman in my bookclub right now and I had my choice of designated drivers. 

My poor friend who's due in July with her first baby drove me home and was forced to listen to me discuss how frazzled I was feeling.  We'd only been in our new house a little while, so things were still pretty disorganized.  Sweet Pea was going through a MAJOR whiny/clingy/don't put me down even for a second stage.  This would have been hard enough to deal with, but I had so much unpacking and organizing, plus a giant To Do list. 

Let's just say I wasn't really Mommy of the Year that particular week - Dora was subbing for me a good part of the time.

I so distinctly remember saying "This is just a really hard age." as I got out of the car.  I'm sure my voice had that slightly hysterical, high-pitched edge to it that I get when I'm feeling close to the breaking point.  Just what a pregnant woman wants to hear.

Anyway, the point of this way-too-long story is how quickly things change in mama land. 

Just a week ago, she was so clingy and whiny.  Suddenly, she is so much fun, I hate to put her down for her nap.  The clinginess has slowed way down.  But beyond that, she is just turning into such a little person.  She is such a happy, little thing.  She thinks everything is so funny and she's talking so much.  It's so fun now that she can really tell me what she wants. 

That's one of the things I love so much about being a mom.  Every week is different.  Hard times turn into your favorite days before you know it.

It's amazing how often I think I can't possibly love her any more than I do.  Then, somehow I love her even more. 

As much as I love Sweet Pea's little baby-self, I can't wait to see how much fun she'll be as she gets older. 

For my pregnant friends out there, don't listen to me when I'm whining.  Being a mom is one of the best things that will ever happen to you.

Meal Planning Gone Bad

One of my favorite bloggers CitySlickerMom has posted about meal planning a few times.  The funny thing is that when I read her last post about it, I was in the process of doing a little meal planning on my own.  I am also gung-ho about it for a while and then it all falls apart. 

So, I finally got it together and had my meals planned for this week. 

Day 1 - Not an especially great outcome - I tried a new slow cooker recipe for Lemonade Chicken.  It tasted, well, too lemonade-y.  That shouldn't surprise me, I guess, given the name.  I guess I was expecting more of a lemon chicken taste.  Anyway, we ate it. 

Or, at least Daddy-O and I did, Sweet Pea tried it and then spit it out of her mouth.  Her spitting is a little more like pushing it out onto her lips and then letting it dribble down to her plate. 

It's as appetizing as it sounds.

Day 2 - Leftovers of the bad chicken

Day 3 - Pasta recipe with steamed carrots - Sweet Pea again with the spitting out.  My doctor says all you can do is just put it in front of them and if she doesn't eat it, it's her choice.  But, I can't let my little girl lose her chubby cheeks.  So, as she is spitting it out she starts chanting

"Pickle, pickle, pickle . . .  pickle, pickle, pickle . . . more pickle, more pickle"

"Peas, Mommy . . . Peas! (I can already picture her as a teenager with this impassioned please thing she's doing - Peas let me go to the party, everyone else is going, Peas.  Okay, she'll probably have the "l" down by then, but it's so cute to imagine her still saying it that way.)

What I haven't mentioned is that she wasn't so interested in the sandwich we shared for lunch, she just wanted the pickle that came with it.  She ate that and wanted more.  So, I gave her half of one from the refrigerator.  She slurped that down with her cup of water mixed with a little of the turkey from the sandwich, some bread, some blueberries and a few potatoes from the potato salad.  She loves her water mixed with all the food she's eating.   

So, I gave in tonight for more pickles.  But, I couldn't have her basically eat pickles for both lunch and dinner.  So, I told her she had to at least eat some non-sweetened applesauce too. 

You guessed it, the perfect dipping sauce for a pickle is . . . applesauce, of course.  She ate the two of them together like she'd just discovered the recipe for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  She could call it Sweet Pea's Pickle Sauce. 

We got some video of her doing the pickle dipping and on video, Daddy-O looked into the camera

"How do you like Mommy's meal planning, Sweet Pea?" 

"What do you think she has planned for tomorrow?"

Then, they both started laughing into the camera.  She didn't get it, but Daddy-O thought it was so funny that she joined right in with the laughing.  Ha, ha, ha.  See how fast we go back to cereal and popcorn for dinner, Mister Funny.

Here she is in all her glory with pickle juice and applesauce smeared down the front of her shirt.  I'm thinking maybe we go for ketchup and mustard again as a dinner option tomorrow.

It's that time again . . . swimsuit shopping

I need a new swimsuit.  Last year's summer after pregnancy suit doesn't fit anymore.  While I have lost my baby weight, I still have some excess post-baby skin (lovely thought,eh?), especially on my tummy.  Just what the swimsuit designers think about when they're designing those skimpy little suits. 

Cutaways - (a hot trend according to one of the swimsuit sites online)
"Not just for the catwalk, the cutaway is a surprisingly flattering way to get the best of both worlds on the beach.

From the back it looks like a bikini; in front, it gives a little extra coverage if you're feeling self-conscious."

Mmmm hmmm . . . . surprisingly flattering . . . Okay, I think I could pull these off.

Okay, maybe not.  Are they kidding with the surprisingly flattering?  Maybe just when I bend down trying to pick up my squirmy toddler. 

I'm thinking a nice tankini of some sort - trying to cover things up a little seems like my best bet. 

Sometimes, I wish I could airbrush myself before going to the pool.  I have to get over that since I want Sweet Pea to have a good body image - I can't be talking about airbrushing myself now that she hears and repeats every last thing that comes out of my mouth.